The Love That Pursues Us A Valentine Message for Women Only

READ AUDIO TRANSCRIPT HERE: 

Happy early Valentine’s Day, ladies!
I have to say—this may be the least stressful Valentine’s celebration ever.

No reservations to fight for.
No expectations to manage.
No pretending we’re totally fine with whatever card or gift—or lack thereof—that showed up.

And honestly?
That’s kind of the point.

Because tonight isn’t about human love, which—let’s be real—can be complicated, conditional, and sometimes absolutely exhausting.

Tonight is about God’s love.
The kind that doesn’t require reservations, performance, or pretending.
The love that shows up… even when things aren’t perfect.

Text Segue

Women are amazing and intuitive, but we also often misread the people we most care about. Especially when it comes to text messages:

You text a girlfriend:
“Hey! Are we still on for coffee tomorrow?”

They reply: Sure

And you think:
Wow. She feels obligated but doesn’t really want to meet

You text your husband
“I’ll be home a little later tonight.”

No response.
Five minutes pass.

And you think:
He’s angry.

You text your sister: 
“You sounded kind of quiet earlier—everything okay?”

She says:
“I’m fine.”

And you think:
Everything is absolutely not fine.

You receive a text from your boss:
“Call me when you get a chance.”

And suddenly trying to figure out what you messed up at work.

You say to your husband:
“Do you want chicken or pasta tonight?”

He says:
“Either.”

And you think:
He hates my cooking. He doesn’t like either. Something is really wrong with this marriage.

Meanwhile—what’s REALLY happening

The girlfriend:
She’s literally just saying yes. She’s looking forward to coffee and hit send while walking into Target.

The husband’s lack of response:
His phone is in the cup holder. He’s driving. Or in the shower. Or genuinely thought, “I’ll respond in a minute,” and forgot.

The sister:
She actually is fine. Tired, maybe. Quiet, yes. But not secretly upset with you.

The boss:
They need information. Or to schedule something. Or to ask a question they forgot to put in the text. No one is in trouble.

The husband (chicken or pasta):
He truly does not care. He is just happy food will appear. He would eat either. Possibly both.

We laugh about all of this—because it’s funny and painfully familiar.

But underneath the humor is something deeper.

If we misinterpret or personalize messages from friends, family, and spouses we can see and hear…no wonder we sometimes think God is distant, disappointed, or silent.

When you’re continually unsure about your most important relationships – despite your best efforts, something happens to your heart.

You get tired.

Tired of guessing.
Tired of overthinking.
Tired of wondering where you stand.

And at some point, many of us realize—we’re not just tired of misunderstandings…
we’re tired of the chase for connection and significance

We chase relationships.
We chase approval.
We chase being found “enough.”

Some of us chased for a BFF
Many of us have chased for “Mr. Right”
We also chase after peace.
Or perfection.

And at some point, we think:
“If this is what love feels like, I’m exhausted.”

So, if you’ve ever thought God was giving you a “Sure, Fine” kinda text or simply ghosting you with silence, remember this:
.
He is always chasing, always pursuing you1

From cover to cover, the Bible tells a consistent and beautiful story.

Of a God who does the chasing—
so we don’t have to.

A God who moves toward us
when we’re hiding, running,
or completely over it.

And here’s the truth I want us to settle into tonight:

God does not pursue us because we behave well.
He pursues us because He loves well.

You may “know” this intellectually, but don’t totally believe it emotionally, at the heart and soul level.

Tonight, I hope to help all of us lock in and truly know and believe at the heart level the true depth and breadth of God’s lavish and pursuing love

Because it changes everything.

May I ask you kind of personal question?  You DON’T need to answer out loud!

Have you ever been relentlessly pursued by someone?

Not in a scary way.
Not stalked or pressured.
But truly pursued—seen, wanted, chosen.

Women deeply desire to be pursued.

And it’s not weakness.
It’s not insecurity.
It’s in our God-given DNA
And it’s definitely not because we need constant attention.

It’s because pursuit communicates value.

When someone pursues you, they’re saying:
“I see you.”
“I choose you.”
“You’re worth the effort.”

When a spouse or good friend simply showed up when you want or need their company, this means more to a woman than a thousand words.

Because Effort Speaks.

FROM THE BEGINNING WE WERE CREATED FOR RELATIONSHIP

In Genesis 2:18 – After God had seen all He’d created was good, he says, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

You know the rest of the story. And just remember, this is not just about marriage and romantic love – without Eve to procreate with Adam – we wouldn’t have any girlfriends either!

It’s in our DNA to pursue connection.

I think that’s why reality shows like The Bachelor are so wildly popular—even though we all say we’re “not really watching it.”

We are drawn to see how other women – sometimes desperately – pursue being PURSUED!

I remember the very first time I watched the very first season of The Bachelor—years and years ago.

My initial reaction was, This is wrong. Just wrong.
What woman in her right mind would ever subject herself to something like this?

And yet… I was intrigued.
So once a week, there I was—on my treadmill—watching this very not-real “reality” show.

I mean, how many of us get dressed in fancy clothes, whisked away on private planes and hot air balloons, and taken to extravagant, all-expense-paid destinations? Add the romantic music, the sunsets, the fireworks—and suddenly it all feels irresistible.

Because at the end of the day, who doesn’t want to be loved?
Who doesn’t want to be chosen?
Who doesn’t want to be the one and only who rides off into the sunset with Prince Charming?

But the part that really got me was how every episode ended with the rose ceremony.

Here’s the bachelor—holding a whole bundle of roses—but there are always fewer roses than women. Every single week, one or two women go home heartbroken and disappointed.

And by the time you get to the final episodes, we’re down to just a couple of bachelorettes who are completely emotionally invested—no matter how unrealistic the situation is.

Then comes the finale.

The bachelor stands there with one rose and two women.
He looks to the right.
He looks to the left.
He pauses—for dramatic effect.

Then he extends the rose to Bachelorette #1 and says, “I choose you.”

And Bachelorette #2?
She gets a polite wave, a quiet rejection, and a ride off in a limo—mascara running down her face like Tammy Faye Bakker back in the day.

And I remember thinking, Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Because love is not meant to play out like that.

Now—I’m going to finish that story later…
with a much better rose ceremony.

But for now, let’s talk about why this hits such a nerve.

Because for some women, the word pursuit carries pain.

Some of us were pursued once…
and then abandoned.

Some of us were promised forever…
and forever turned out to be shorter than we expected.

Some of us stopped believing we were worth pursuing at all.

And yet—this is the heartbeat of Scripture.

What I said a few minutes ago, bears repeating…

God does not pursue us because we behave well.
He pursues us because He loves well.

Tonight is not about how good we are.
Tonight is about how faithful He is.

No matter your season—single, married, divorced, widowed—
this message is for every woman who has ever thought:

“If God really knew me… would He still come after me?”

The answer—over and over in Scripture—is yes.

 

So, let’s go to the greatest love letter ever written – the Word of God and take a look at a few of the Bible stories most of us know – but perhaps never fully and accurately personalized…

ADAM & EVE: WHEN GOD PURSUES THE ASHAMED

Let’s go back to the very beginning.

Adam and Eve

Spoiler Alert: This first story is kind of a bummer – but hang with me – God’s working it all out for our good!

They had one rule:
Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

God was clear—if you do, there will be consequences.

But this wasn’t about restriction.
It was about relationship.

God was protecting them, while also giving them the opportunity to freely choose obedience.

Because from the very beginning, God gave humanity free will.

He didn’t want a relationship with programmed beings—
or spiritual robots going through the motions.

Where’s the love in that?

Real love requires choice.

You know the rest of the story.

The serpent showed up with lies. Eve believed him

She ate. Adam ate (and later blame Eve – where’s the leadership and protection there?)

And what happens immediately after they disobey God?

They realize they are naked.
They experience fear for the very first time.
They try to cover up.
They hide.

Shame does that.

And then—this is the part we sometimes misunderstand—
God calls out to them in the garden.

He doesn’t shout.
He doesn’t disappear.

He calls out,
“Where are you?”

God was not asking because He didn’t know.

He was asking because He already had a plan to restore them back into relationship
BUT…it would not be without consequences.

And so, He ask questions – to which He knows the answers.
“What is this you have done.”

And this is where the blame game takes off…

Adam says, “The woman YOU put here gave me the fruit…”

Eve says, “The serpent deceived me…”

Sin has now entered our human experience and from this moment in history forward, we our relationship with God and each other has become contaminated.

What was pure and safe in obedience
Became dangerous and uncertain in our rebellion.

Our guilt (and the condemning lies of the enemy)
Cause us to run from God (and each other)

The lingering shame still whispers the same lie today:

“Pull away.”
“Hide.”
“You’ve messed up too much.”
“God is disappointed.”

But Scripture shows us something else.

Before Adam and Eve repented…
Before they even confessed…

God came looking. God had a redemption plan already in progress.

In the meantime, He covered their shame with animal skins (a foreshadowing of His ultimate plan.) He sternly laid out the dire consequences of their disobedience.  And, we still suffer those consequences today in combination with the many good gifts God bestows on us.

We live this short mortal life in a fallen world where we sometimes wonder, “Where is God?” Original sin is the foundational truth the explains all the pain, suffering, and evil in the world.

God has given every one of us a free will. And while we’d like to place all the blame on Adam and Eve, Romans 3:23 reminds us: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

We all need second chances. We all need our guilt and shame covered.

We all need to be pursued by a God that NEVER gives up on us.

Some of you walked in tonight carrying quiet shame.
Maybe it’s something recent.
Or something no one else knows.

God is not waiting for you to clean yourself up.
He is already walking toward you.
His loving redemption plan has been in place from the beginning

“For God so loved the world – He gave ultimate and most costly gift of Love. He’s been pursuing us since the first sin was ever committed and He is continuing to pursue every one of us today.

THE PRODIGAL SON: WHEN GOD PURSUES THE RUNAWAY

In the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus tells a story about a second-born son who doesn’t just make a mistake—
he rejects his relationship with his father.

He says, in essence,
“I can’t wait for you to die. I don’t want you, but I want your stuff now”

Unbelievable, His father gives him his inheritance.
The son leaves home.
And He quickly squanders everything.

Eventually, he ends up broken, hungry, humiliated.
He has no options left – except to return home and beg to become like one of the servants

All the while…

The father doesn’t forget him.
The father doesn’t move on.
The father watches.

And one day—when the son is still far off—
the father sees him.

And he runs. He runs toward his lost son.

Men didn’t run in that culture.
Dignified men didn’t lift their robes and sprint down roads.

But love will do what dignity never would.

The father doesn’t say:

• “Explain yourself.”
• “Earn your way back.”
• “Prove you’ve changed.”

The son comes to the Father in humility and the Father restores him before the apology is even finished. Without a word, he knows his son’s brokenness and contrition.

Some of us have ran from God
Some of us are still running.

Hear this:

God doesn’t meet us halfway.
He runs toward us.

 

HOSEA & GOMER: WHEN GOD PURSUES THE UNFAITHFUL

Now we need to talk about a story that makes many people uncomfortable.

God asks a man named Hosea to marry a woman (Gomer) who will repeatedly betray him.

And she does – even after having three children with Hosea.

She leaves.
He is heartbroken.
She gives her love and body to others – sometimes for money

And God says something astonishing. He tells Hosea:

“Go after her.”

Again and again and again.

Why?

Because God says,
“This is how I love My people.”

This is not a love story we would write.
But it is the love story God lives.

Some women here tonight feel like Gomer.

You think:
“I’ve gone too far.”
“I’ve disappointed God too many times.”

Others feel like Hosea.
You loved.
You trusted.
And you were betrayed.

 

DANNA’S STORY

Sadly, I can relate to both Gomer and Hosea.

More than fifty years ago, I married very young—at just twenty-one—to a man nine years older than me. At that point in my life, my entire identity was wrapped up in being loved and chosen by a man.

I didn’t know God yet.
And I chose a husband who demanded that I look a certain way and eat a certain way. He wanted a thin, trophy wife.

What he didn’t know—and what I had been hiding for years—was that I was already deeply bound in an eating disorder. I had struggled with bulimia long before I ever met him, and that struggle continued throughout our eleven-year marriage.

Because I constantly felt “less than,” I was easily drawn to attention from other men—always wondering if someone, somewhere, might finally find me good enough. In that marriage, I was unfaithful more than once.

Living in that prolonged identity crisis, coupled with my dangerous bondage to food, eventually took a severe toll on my body and mind. I began having relentless panic attacks—moments where I genuinely felt like I was dying or losing my sanity.

That fear led me to seek help… and ultimately, to find the Lord.

I gave my life to Jesus and for a season, I followed Him with intensity and sincerity. But after a few years, my old insecurities crept back in. I slowly shifted my focus away from God’s perfect, pursuing love—and back onto myself and the approval of others.

Even though I was now a Christian, I didn’t fully trust God with my identity or my future. I never felt secure or satisfied in my marriage, and eventually, I initiated a divorce.

I don’t share this to add drama to tonight’s message.
I share it to say this as clearly as I can:

You can never out-sin the love of God.

It took me years to truly believe that—and during those years, I often lived as if I didn’t even know Jesus at all.

Then God brought a man into my life—my current husband, Lew.
He was kind, strong, honorable… and yes, very handsome.
Our relationship felt like a fairy tale, and we fell deeply in love.

As of this past summer, we’ve been married forty years.
And I can honestly say—thirty-two of those forty have been really good.

But there were also seasons when I experienced what Hosea experienced.

I was betrayed—twice.
And it devastated me.

I could have believed the enemy’s lie that this pain was punishment for my past. But by that point, my identity was no longer rooted in shame—it was rooted in being God’s beloved daughter.

I had given my life fully back to the Lord. I was walking closely with Him. And even in heartbreak, I knew who I was.

I remember the first betrayal as if it were yesterday. As the reality sank from my head into my heart, I felt like my chest was going to burst. I cried out to God, “What do You want me to do?”

Immediately, I saw a picture in my mind of Jesus on the cross—looking down at me.

And His answer was simple… and shocking.

“Forgive him.”

I remember saying, “How can I possibly do that right now?”

And I sensed Jesus say to my spirit:
“Remember all the sins you’ve committed—and the ones you haven’t committed yet. When I died on the cross, I died for them all. There wasn’t a single one I said was too much. And now I call you to forgive as I have forgiven you.”

I want to be very clear about something.

Forgiveness does not mean you control the outcome.
Forgiveness does not guarantee reconciliation.
And forgiveness does not mean becoming a doormat.

God calls us to forgive—but relationships still require two willing hearts.

What I learned, especially during the second betrayal, was how to pursue, love, and forgive as a strong woman of God—not weak, not desperate, not enabling.

I chose to stay, to pray, to love, and to pursue—not knowing if my marriage would survive—trusting God with the outcome.

And slowly, faithfully, I watched God do what only He can do.

He softened my husband’s heart.
He restored what felt broken beyond repair.
He turned a heart of stone back into flesh.

Today, we have the strongest, healthiest relationship we’ve ever had. We are best friends. And my husband adores me.

It would have been easy to walk away. I had biblical grounds to do so.
But God said, “No. Pursue.”

And I’ve learned this:

Sometimes, God calls us to pursue—not because the other person deserves it—but because He is writing a redemption story bigger than our pain.

Stories like Hosea and Gomer—and even my own—can leave us wondering something very real:

What happens when failure isn’t a moment… but a pattern?
When the consequences are public, lasting, and deeply painful?

Because some of us don’t just relate to betrayal or broken trust—
we relate to disqualification.

We wonder, “Surely I’ve crossed a line.”
“Surely my calling is over.”
“Surely God is done with me.”

And that’s why the story of David matters so much.

Because David wasn’t just broken—
he was a leader.
A worshiper.
A man after God’s heart.

And yet he fell in a way that should have ended everything.

So let’s look at what God does
when someone we would have written off…
God forgives and restores.

Most of you know the story:
David was a king.
A worshiper.
A man after God’s heart.

And yet—he fell.

David’s sin with Bathsheba is one of the most well-known—and sobering—stories in Scripture.

While his army was away at war, David saw a beautiful woman bathing on a nearby rooftop and sent a servant to bring her to him. Scripture does not give us every detail, but it’s important to acknowledge that given David’s power as king, Bathsheba may not have had the freedom to refuse.

What we do know is this: the encounter resulted in pregnancy—and from that moment on, David chose deception instead of repentance.

In an attempt to cover up his sin, David summoned Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, home from battle, hoping he would sleep with his wife so the pregnancy could be explained away. But Uriah proved to be a man of deep integrity. He refused to enjoy the comforts of home while his fellow soldiers were risking their lives on the front lines.

When that plan failed, David devised an even darker one.

He ordered Uriah to be sent to the fiercest part of the battle—and then deliberately abandoned—ensuring his death.

What began as a moment of lust spiraled into manipulation, abuse of power, and ultimately murder.

And for a while, it looks like he got away with it.

But God doesn’t abandon him.

God sends Nathan—not to destroy him, but to bring him back.

David sees his sin clearly
He is deeply grieved
He is broken and humbled

You can hear and feel his heart as he pours it out in Psalm 51

It is a prayer I’ve prayed, and I encourage you to do as well if you ever find yourself in deep repentance. Here are a few of the most powerful verses

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

 For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

God doesn’t excuse sin—He also does NOT discard the sinner.

You may feel disqualified.
You believe your calling is over.
That your best days are behind you.

But David’s story tells us this:

Failure is not the end of your story when God is the author.

God’s Version of the Rose Story:

Remember I said I’d the finish the rose ceremony story?

In God’s version, there isn’t a room full of women nervously waiting to see who’s enough, who’s chosen, and who’s going home.

There isn’t just one rose for two people.

There’s one cross for all of us.

And instead of a bachelor standing there deciding who made the cut,
we see Jesus—who doesn’t eliminate, compare, or discard.

He doesn’t look at one and say, “I choose you,”
and turn to another and say, “Sorry, you didn’t measure up.”

Instead, He stretches out His arms and says,

“I choose you.”
AND “I choose you. And you. And You…

I See You

I Know You

I Love You

In God’s rose ceremony, no one is sent home in shame.
No one is dismissed because they weren’t perfect enough.
No one rides away rejected.

The rose doesn’t go to the most impressive woman in the room.
It goes to the broken.
The hiding.
The weary.
The woman who never thought she’d be chosen again.

And the most beautiful part?

Jesus didn’t wait for us to stand there hoping to be picked.

He came looking for us.

That’s the love that pursues us.

THE ULTIMATE PURSUIT: JESUS

Every story we’ve talked about points to one moment.

God walking in a garden.
God running down a road.
God buying back the unfaithful.
God restoring the fallen.

All of it leads to Jesus.

While we were still sinners…
Christ came for us.

The cross is God saying:

“You don’t have to come to Me.
I came to you.”

YOU WERE NEVER UNSEEN

I want to end with this truth:

You are not here tonight because you found God.

You are here because God found you.

If you’ve been hiding—He’s calling.
If you’ve been running—He’s watching.
If you’ve been broken—He’s pursuing.

Not with condemnation.
But with love that chases.

PURSUED PEOPLE PURSUE PEOPLE

Before we leave tonight, I want to gently turn the message outward.

Because once you realize you were never unseen, something changes.

When you’ve been pursued by God—
really pursued—
it reshapes how you see everyone else.

Suddenly, you notice the prodigals in your own life.

The daughter who’s pulling away.
The friend who’s living in ways that scare you.
The woman who says she’s “fine,” but you know she’s not.
The family member who’s missing the mark—but still deeply loved.

And here’s the important part:

God never asks us to fix people.
He asks us to love them.

Some of the most powerful ways we pursue others look like this:

• Staying connected when it would be easier to walk away
• Choosing compassion over commentary
• Loving without enabling
• Speaking truth without withdrawing love

And sometimes, the greatest pursuit
is simply refusing to give up on someone.

Because love that reflects God’s love is patient.
It’s steady.
It creates space for repentance without shame.

And here’s the beautiful irony of it all:

People are rarely led back to God by being judged.
They are almost always led back by being loved.

So as you leave tonight, I want to ask you to carry this question with you:

“Who in my life needs me to love them the way God has loved me?”

Not perfectly.
Not dramatically.
Just faithfully.

Because when women who have been pursued by God
begin to pursue others with that same grace—

Lives change.
Hearts soften.
And the love of God becomes visible.

CLOSING PRAYER

God, thank You that Your love does not give up.
Thank You that You pursue us—not because we are perfect, but because You are faithful.

Thank You that we were never unseen.

Tonight, receive every woman here—
in her questions,
in her wounds,
in her hope.

Heal what needs healing.
Restore what feels lost.
And remind each heart that she is still wanted, still chosen, still deeply loved.

And God, as we leave this place, seal this truth within us.

Because we have been pursued,
teach us how to pursue others with grace.

Give us eyes to see—not with judgment, but with compassion.
Give us wisdom to love without enabling,
courage to speak truth without withdrawing love,
and patience to stay when walking away would be easier.

Help us love well—not just on Valentine’s Day,
but every day of the year.

May our lives quietly point people back to You,
not because we had all the answers,
but because we loved the way You love us.

We offer You our hearts again tonight.
Use us.
Lead us.
And keep pursuing us as we follow You.

Amen.

Remember this:
You may be the only person in someone’s life who truly knows the pursuing love of God.

In Matthew 5, Jesus didn’t say “try” to be salt and light—He said you are.

So let’s leave tonight with our eyes open and our hearts ready, attentive to God’s divine opportunities to pursue others with love.