Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered,
“Today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.”
Mark 14: 29,30
There have been times in my spiritual walk when I felt like I was on the top of the mountain with God. My faith was invincible, and I could not imagine ever giving in to temptation or living my life without Jesus at the center.
Knowing what I knew about God and feeling his strength and power in my life…it was simply impossible. That is probably how Peter felt that last night with Jesus. So, when Jesus told his disciples that they would all fall away from him and be scattered, Peter could not accept it and emphatically declared otherwise. He must have been shattered when Jesus told him that he would disown him three times before dawn. How crushing.
Over and over, scripture exposes the weaknesses and failings of those who walked in the very presence of Jesus. Can you imagine seeing his miracles firsthand, looking into his eyes, feeling his touch and still blowing it so badly? Yet, each of the disciples fled for their own sakes that critical night before Jesus’ crucifixion. If those who knew him in the flesh were that weak, it is no surprise that we are as well. Jesus knows our weaknesses, sees our sin and corruption, and willingly goes to the cross.
He sees us.
He knows us.
He loves us anyway.
Can you imagine the knife in Peter’s heart when he heard the rooster crowing and realized that Jesus was right? He had denied him just as he said he would. We all deny Christ in little and big ways. Perhaps we sense God has given us a divine opportunity to share our faith and we do not speak. Or we feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit convicting us when we begin to gossip, but we finish the story asking others to pray for the person as if that justifies our sin.
I fell away from Jesus twice in the 50 years since I first accepted him as my savior in my early twenties. After a miraculous healing from five years of unrelenting panic attacks, my faith was on fire for almost seven years. But as I began to rely on my own strength and accept various life opportunities that put me on the throne of my life, my faith insidiously began to dim. It was imperceptible at first.
Over a couple years, my choices became more and more selfish. The end result: I walked away from an eleven-year marriage despite my two young daughters that desperately needed and wanted their daddy in their daily lives. I still believed in Jesus. But my life did not show it for almost eight years.
In season two of the series, The Chosen, they write a storyline about Mary Magdalene falling away and returning briefly to her old life. I watched a video with the show’s creator, Dallas Jenkins explaining why they added this fictitious scene. He said: “Things don’t become all sunshine and rainbows after we meet Jesus. We have tools now. But when we make mistakes, we don’t access those tools as often as we should. And that was true for the disciples and followers of Jesus as well.”*
I’m glad they included Mary’s brief fall. It reminds us that no matter how profoundly Jesus has transformed us, this side of heaven we are all capable of slipping. I know this oh too well. In the show, Jesus sent the disciples to look for Mary. I wish someone had come looking for me. Perhaps my falling away would have been shorter.
Let’s be honest. If we were to watch a video of our lives, most of us would see that our actions don’t always reveal that we are children of the King. We think we are strong in the Lord and yet we fail sometimes to love and honor him as he fully deserves. When we fall away for a moment or even for a season, how does Jesus respond?
He continues to pursue us.
He continues to love us.
If we open our hearts up, he helps us remember our first love.
Back to Peter
After his resurrection, Jesus appeared to his disciples and prepared breakfast by the lake for them. It amazes me how Christ meets even our lowly physical needs when there are more important matters at hand. After breakfast, Jesus turned his focus to Peter:
Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You ” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.”
He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.”
He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You ” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.
John 21: 15 –17
Was Jesus that unsure of Peter that he needed him to tell him three times of his love? Of course, not. It was Peter who needed to be reminded that despite his betrayal, his love for Jesus was real and secure. And, not only that; Jesus wanted him to continue to tend to the new and mature believers he had put into his care. He wanted Peter to live out his original life purpose.
Don’t let the shame of bad behavior or a lapse in your faith keep you from intimate time with Christ and being used for his glory.
Do you love him?
Do you love him?
Do you love him?
Prayer
Oh Jesus, I do love you and I am so grieved when my words and actions do not reveal this. Thank you for showing me in your word that I am not alone. I pray you will not let the enemy’s lies hold me back in shame when I fall away. I pray that your Holy Spirit will give me faith and assurance that my love for you is real despite my failings and sin. Forgive me for my weakness and strengthen me by your power. Amen.
*In his commentaries, Dallas Jenkins reminds us that this highly popular and often controversial series is a work of fiction based on the gospels but also intended to give us an expanded look at the possibilities of how Jesus and his followers may have interacted and the things they may have encountered.